2003-03-16

Dry Humpers of the World Unite

On the weekend I met a boy at a bar. Things were going well (in other words, he wasn't masturbating in front of me). . .until the end of the night. He came up to me and asked, "Is there anyway you can ditch your friend? I want to fuck you in a corner." Yes. Fuck me in a corner. It's all the rave now in Ottawa - Corner Fucking.

So of course I said to my friend, "Robin, do you mine stepping to the side a bit, we are going to start corner fucking and I don't want you to get hurt."

Boys.

If he asked me if I'd dry hump in the corner, then maybe he'd have a chance. But corner fucking? I've never done it before. Thoughts start flooding my head that near the beginning of the corner fucking he'd know I was a corner fucking virgin. I'd feel ashamed and timid and he'd feel embarrassed for stooping so low.

So naturally I declined, grabbed Robin by the arm and ran away.

One of my biggest turn offs is when guys make reference to fucking while fucking or just before fucking. I find it cheesey. I feel like I'm having sex with someone who learned everything they know about sex from a porn movie.

Boys.

Some nice kind-hearted soul responded to my weak Dirty Three plea. *YAY* (Now I must go find that magnet).

Now playing: Fillmore Jive by Pavement

popnoir at 10:24 a.m.

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