2003-02-07
Technical Virgin
So my new found SUPER COOL friend showed me the best site ever: Technical Virgin.
Basically this site encourages teens to engage in anal sex because it ensures that they won't get pregnant. They realize that it is impossible to expect kids to be completely orgasm free with their increasing horniess. It also supports other forms of pregnancy-free sex.
The site comes with some great testimonals like:
"And anal is definitely the fast track to the "in" crowd: Ever since I started taking it anal, I've been way popular at school!"
I really wish someone told me THIS in school.
"We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal."
I remember one of my first sexual experiences a guy had asked me to do that to him and in return he'd do it to me. Phrasing it like it would be something I'd give away my bicycle for. If I knew then what I know now, that we'd be equals, I probably would have felt more obliged. It is unfortunate this site wasn't around back in the day.
"I want a lot out of life, but I know that I can't afford to raise a kid right now, and I'm way too young to get married. That's why I stopped risking my future by having sex with boys and hooked up with my best galpal, Claire. We may be straight, but we'd rather eat pussy than get preganant!"
I guess the pill and condoms don't come cheap where she's from.
The site comes equip with alternative dating techniques, such as:
"once a month I show him how much I really love him by coughing up the $500 to get him a really top-quality call girl to fuck him silly."
Wow. Talk about true love right close to Valentine's Day.
Well not much is new with me. I'm going to a party tonight. I'll be sure to implement these suggestions.
Rock on,
Now playing: The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side by The Magnetic Fields
popnoir at 8:06 p.m.