2003-01-14

THE FUCKING CRAZIES I LIVE WITH. . .

Bryan and friends visited me this weekend and it was SUPER. I knew I missed hanging out with him but I never realized how much I missed it until the day he went home again. He makes me laugh hystarically every single time I see him. We even hung out at Tim Horton's several times just for old times sake.

On Saturday a bunch of us went out drinking. When we came home we ordered a pizza and harrassed my friend on the radio a billion times who graciously played all of our requests.

Now before the pizza arrived several messages were left on my phone because we were busy making mad radio requests. I will now transpire bits for you:

Message 1 3:07am

Ya Fuck you, buddy

Fuck you,

Get your fucking hand

Fuck You

Get your fucking hand out of my fucking face

Fuck You OK?

BAck off

You don't want to fuck me?

Fuck You

Back off BAck off man back off

Get the fuck away from me

Huh?

Back off man back off man

Get the fuck away from

I don't want to fight you.

Back off back off. . .

Message 2 3:13am:

I'm going to get my bat man

As events would unfold it seems that some PSYCHO in my buildling wanted to beat the crap out of our pizza delivery guy with a baseball bat. The pizza guy finally made it to our door and asked if some of our friends would graciously escort him to his car because some FUCKING PSYCHO didn't like the way the pizza guy was delivering our pizza. Our pizza box was crushed because the FUCKING PSYCHO thought it was necessary to strangle the pizza guy before delivery. I call this guy FUCKING PYSCHO because seriously how threatening is a guy who has both of his hands tied up caring a huge ass box of pizza, who knows that the quicker he delivers a pizza the bigger his tip could potentially be? Is it really necessary to get five of yours friends, a dog and a baseball bat? The FUCKING PSYCHO also claimed, "I will eat you alive." So not only is this guy FUCKING PSYCHO and threatens people with bats and possee of retards but he also practices cannibalism. (AND HE LIVES IN MY BUILDING).

Of course, me being severly intoxicated at the time thought everyone was joking around about this until the cops showed up to get people statements. My roommate had the stellar idea of asking if everyone would poise for a picture. A picture will be posted once it is developed. The best part of it was when Bryan said to the cop afterwards, "Ummmm...I don't know how reputable we are as witnesses. We were all intoxicated at the time and two of us are unemployed."

My internet connection has been sucking shit out of a mother fucking monkey's ass so if this doesn't work I'm going to cry.

Now Playing: Sexy Drummer by Jim Guthrie

popnoir at 10:32 p.m.

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